resources

Whenever I have a question about customs, etiquette, or traditions, I often times consult my handy Emily Post Etiquette guide. She always seems to have the answer for everything, or at least provides me with a good starting place. Well, anyways, the other day while doing a little Emily Post research, I stumbled across this lovely find, The Gift of Good Manners by Peggy Post & Cindy Post Senning, Ed.D. How I have never run across this book before I'm not entirely sure; but I was so happy to see that this was out there that I just had to share. This comprehensive guide walks parents through their child's development and helps create a gauge to set expectations regarding their child's manners. It also includes handy tips and information on how to develop good habits at a young age.

If you have a little person in your life, this may be a helpful resource for you. Check it out online, at your local book store of library. Also, take a peek at their blog for even more information!

write your thank you cards!

Yesterday I received the most lovely thank you card. It was heart felt, sincere, a little funny, but above all, left me feeling like I was appreciated. This is one of those cards that I know I will keep around and look back at, rather than just toss in the recycling. However, I have to say (sadly) that rarely do I stumble across such a lovely card; more and more often these days I am finding that the hand written thank you is becoming a dying art.

With the ease of the telephone, email and texting, not a lot of time and energy is put into writing a thank you. This is however no excuse for not pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. Here are a couple things to remember when writing your thank you notes...

1. Timing is everything…sometimes - Try to be timely with your thank you cards. If you receive a gift, or attend an event, try your best to send a thank you card off the next day, or within the week. However, people do realize that sometimes life gets in the way...so remember it's never too late to say thank you. Even if you think your card is past due, send it anyways. (If you’re a bride, remember you have one year from your wedding date to send out your cards…but try not to procrastinate)

2. Expand on your topic - Don't just assume the phrase 'thank you' is enough. There is nothing I hate more than receiving a card that says 'Thank you for the scarf, it was nice'. Well yes, I know the scarf was nice as well, but tell me more. Maybe explain why you thought it was nice, and what you plan to wear it with, or how you had been looking for a scarf in that color and were so pleased to receive the gift. No one was ever upset by a card that was more than a sentence long, so don’t be afraid to expand.

3. Seize the opportunity – Rarely anymore does someone hand write a letter for the fun of it, so while you’re writing your thank you card, take the opportunity to include some other information. For example, after you’ve finished thanking the recipient, maybe include information on how nice it was to visit last week, or how much you’re looking forward to your next encounter together.

4. Not just for gifts – I can’t tell you how important it is to realize that thank you cards are not just expected after you’ve received a gift. There are multiple occasions in which a thank you card is a necessary, here are just a few…

• events – if you’re invited to a dinner party, shower, etc., it is appropriate to send a thank you to the hostess in order to express your appreciation for their hard work. Too often people pass up on this opportunity, so let’s try and bring it back!

• interviews – yes, you’re still expected to send a thank you after an interview. It’s becoming more and more commonplace to send a quick email within the first 24 hours after an interview, but I still think it is nice to follow up with a card. It never hurts to make sure you’ve grabbed the company’s attention.

• services & volunteer activities – if you’re holding a function where you require help of volunteers make sure to follow up with a card of thanks. If someone is willing to give you their time for free, than do your best to follow up with them.

When writing your thank you card, I find it is most important to think about what you would like to receive in the mail and how you would like someone to thank you. Just be honest, be yourself and I think you'll find it can be a lot more fun than writing an email.

Tip #2: Invitation Timing

By far, one of the most common conversations I have with brides is that of 'wedding planning timelines and due dates'. This can include anything from 'when should I order my wedding invitations?' to 'when do I need to expect a reply from my guests?'. These are all very important questions to ask during the planning of your big day and can be solved with the simple use of a calendar.

I cannot stress how important it is to develop a calendar for your wedding, and the sooner the better. There are many wonderful resources online and at your local library and bookstore which can help give recommendations and tips for planning your due dates. Although we can't touch on every aspect of your wedding planning in this blog post alone, I am going to take a moment to outline some very important dates, specific to the planning of your invitations (I've also bulleted this information below for a quick reference).

Let's pretend for a moment that 'Jack' has just proposed to 'Jill' and they are planning their wedding to take place a year from today. As soon as Jack and Jill have picked their date, chosen their venue and have signed contracts to lock their event in place, they should feel free to begin looking at wedding invitations and 'Save the Date' cards.

If, in the case of Jack and Jill, you have a significant time before your wedding (6+ months) you should feel free to send a 'Save the Date' announcements. 'Save the Date' cards are not a required item in the wedding invitation package, but if you would like to give your guests advance notice (particularly if there is travel involved or if your wedding takes place over a major holiday) it is always appreciated. Although it is recommended to send your 'Save the Date' announcement at least 4 months prior to your event, I personally feel that the sooner you can send these out, the better. Please keep in mind to allow appropriate time to have your announcements printed (we will talk more about 'Save the Date' announcements next week).

Now, Jack and Jill have sent out their 'Save the Dates' and are preparing to order their wedding invitations. By simply counting backwards from their planned wedding date, Jill is able to gather quite a bit of information for their invitation planning. Jill knows that her wedding is scheduled for Saturday March 27th, 2010. From here she can determine her 'RSVP by' date. Typically, this date is at least one month prior to the wedding, so in the case of Jill, her 'RSVP by' date would be February 27, 2010. It is important to leave one month between receiving your RSVP's and your wedding for many reasons. Often your venue and caterer need to have a full count of your guests up to a month before your event. This also gives you adequate time to plan your seating, place cards, any personalized favors, etc.

So, if Jill is expecting to receive her RSVP's by February 27th, when should she send out her invites? Well, according to Miss Emily Post, invitations are usually mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding date. For Jill, this means sending our her invites anywhere between January 30th and February 13th, allowing her guests 2-4 weeks to respond.

So, the wedding is at the end of March, and Jill is prepared to send her invites out the end of January...so when should Jack and Jill place their invitation order? Most printers will require a minimum of 6-8 weeks to prepare a wedding invitation suite. There are always situations where a printer can complete a job in less time, but be prepared that often times there can be 'rush fees' involved. Keep in mind that if you would like a custom invitation, you may want to contact your printer as many as 12 weeks before your 'send out' date. Typically, the longer you can give your printer, the better off you will be. Please remember to give yourself additional time to assemble your invitations as well as address them. If you are going to use a calligrapher, you will need to have additional time allotted for their services as well.

All together, this means Jack and Jill are looking to order their wedding invitations no later than December 1st 2009. Hopefully this information will be useful for the planning of your own wedding! Using the same timeline we used for Jack and Jill I've placed a bulleted list for your reference, and if you have any questions...please feel free to ask!

Wedding Invitation Timeline:

• Plan your 'RSVP by' date to be 4 weeks prior to your wedding date.
• Send your Wedding Invitations at least 6-8 weeks prior to wedding date.
• Plan 2 weeks prior to sending out invitations to assemble and address (more needed if using a service or calligrapher).
• Order your wedding invitations 10 weeks prior to 'send out' date (more needed if ordering a custom design).
• Send out 'Save the Date' announcements as many as 4 months before your wedding date.
  

Tip #1: RSVP

To begin ask Dahlia Press, we are going to share a little known tip that is helpful for planning any event...

One of the most important pieces to any invitation package is the RSVP. RSVP, a french phrase "répondez s'il vous plaît" meaning 'respond please', is crucial to the planning of any event. Without it, one is unable to appropriately plan how much food and drink to prepare, seating, favors and overall event costs.

My Mother, who was once a wedding planner, gave me this tip when planning my own wedding. Often, when invitations are sent out, the guest may forget to fill in their name on the RSVP line (this happened to me multiple times during my wedding). Unfortunately, when the party planner receives the returned RSVP in the mail, there is no way to track who exactly has sent this to you. By simply assigning a number to each guest on your guest list and placing the corresponding number discreetly on the back of your RSVP, you are able to keep track of your guests response.

I've recommended this to all the brides I've worked with and suggest you try it next time you throw a party!